just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Are my feet made of real feet?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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