hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
