i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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