i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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