I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
