Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
