It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize