benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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