I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
