Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
