I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
