what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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