just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
