I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
