omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
