there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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