Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
