Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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