Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I love black thongs
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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