I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
