is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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