Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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