You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
honey bunches of taint.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
