...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
