So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
