Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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