that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
