last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
