Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
