I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
