He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Everclear isn't food dammit
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
