And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
