Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
