on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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