im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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