HIV tests are more positive than that guy
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
