he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
