don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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