I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
