oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
