I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
