you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
