Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
