just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
