And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
