Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
