Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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