Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
