Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
