I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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