scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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