Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
