Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
